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2011-08-19T20:12:00.008+08:00

"Sometimes when I look at you, I feel I'm gazing at a distant star.
It's dazzling, but the light is from tens of thousands of years ago.
Maybe the star doesn't even exist any more. Yet sometimes that light seems more real to me than anything." — Haruki Murakami

2007-06-04T21:38:00.000+08:00

put back the stars
i'm out of shape tonight
pinhole black velvet
navigation-skills got lost with the fading light
it was there not more then a second ago
now what do you know, what i do know
is just not good enough to make things right
put back the stars
i'm out of place tonight

ain't it something to know your lost

i hoist my sail
through there is no wind in sight
and i close my eyes to feel the fresh breeze
paint the inside of my eyelids bright
fill the sky with your breath
cause you know im out of mine
let the sky burn and i will inhale
without a fight
i hoist my sail
and i'll just wait for you tonight

ain't it something to know you have lost

black tar surrounds me now
but life is the next door neighbor
on the outside there is just absence
but when i close my eyes
all i see is your face

ain't it something to know you're lost
ain't it something to know you're lost
ain't it something i know i've lost - put back the stars by blindside

2007-06-03T21:25:00.000+08:00

lana, yinwen, kelly and i. <3i love this tall bitch.
woo. kelly's birthday. so headed down to homeclub but i didn't enter cuz i had to go home and partially someone ruined it. so we met jeff, michael, syafiq and a few handfuls more.
actually there is more but i'm not in the mood to so yeah, that's about it.

2007-06-03T20:43:00.000+08:00

i was browsing through my inbox for your messages.
i think i'm the one who's hopelessly attracted to you, not you.
i'm like a fucking twat writing out these dirges when i know you won't even read this.
your name triggers it off badly. why am i such a fool for you, why.

2007-06-01T02:36:00.000+08:00

why'd say you say you wanted to be with me but to walk away in the end

why were you scared baby

why'd you give up on us when you know there was something beautiful between us

thank you for being so much of a pussy.

all i wanted was to kiss you one more time, maybe more than once.

2007-06-01T01:21:00.000+08:00

so i was one hour late for the job training at taka.
i met this fugly, cheenafuck. EWWW my future colleague.
lepak for a while with yinwen and kelly in town then hopped onto the train and headed to simpang bedok. eel came along, we met izdi and hakim there too.
so yeah, that's about it. it didn't turn out as bad as what i have expected.
but tomorrow.. we shall see.
that night, the trembling lips finally collided on the ledge.
your lips, oh-so-fucking-soft. you left me breathless.
that kiss was painfully amazing, even now.

2007-05-31T00:18:00.000+08:00

when she asks for something: boy she means it.
she won't let go, but she can't keep holding on.
i don't know why i care so much,
when i shouldn't care at all.
i miss the bodom and the beautiful.

2007-05-27T00:20:00.000+08:00

the more you wanna shut my cathole, the more i would love to see you try.
they call this, the sweet revenge.

2007-05-23T13:14:00.000+08:00

kelly! wait for my good news! $8/hour! here we go!

2007-05-23T12:02:00.000+08:00

i'm enraged by this stupid cpf system for whatever singpass bull you call that.
i have been trying to settle this bucket of pissfuck since 2 days ago.
AND FOR ALL THEY CARE, IT HAS BEEN ERROR, ERROR, AND ERROR STILL.
so hung out with ben, kelly, shar, xing, tom, how chye and etc at the national library yesterday. we were supposed to sisha but headed home instead cuz kelly had to meet her friends and i had to go home early.
it's cheryl's birthday tomorrow!

2007-05-21T02:17:00.001+08:00

a lil' distraction is what i needed. thanks for tonight meister.
i'm loving cheryl's blog; i totally understand how she feels.

it's like you can't stand unless you can stand next to me
like, like you can throw your love's lasso
around all of my complexities
and hold my attention like a leash on my time,
til' not even i can occupy my mind.
now you may be thinking i'm just here to blame you.
you know what, shame you for playing Monopoly.
i gave a fuck about you, but you chose to fuck it.
shame on you shredder.

2007-05-20T13:45:00.000+08:00

i met trains of familiar faces at tp 2 days back.
i went down with germaine, kelly and yw.
hoho not forgetting my eel, yana and alia! i haven't met 'em since forever.
upload the photos some other time. i'm lazy to plug in my usb cable.
my cousins are pissing me off. my room isn't your usual friendly convenient store.
oh lately, i have realised i am in the doghouse for anyone named melissa.
except for melissa kwek.

2007-05-18T00:43:00.000+08:00

hoho today is another happy day.

i finally got what i wanted.

i went down t primitive with kelly and yinwen for my neck and nose piercings.

some crazy things kelly and yw did things on the way which catalyses the trip there like:

- kelly that sickass wiped her saliva on my jeans.

- kelly that crazy girl played with the fucking steps of the escalator and both played with their TEETH after i taught 'em the art of playing with bumpy lines.

now, i really wonder who's the weird one.

wooo the anticipation expanded exponentially and it nearly doomed me death.

but luckily the girls were there. thanks babes. :D

I TELL YOU. the nose piercing was more painful than the neck's.

i have a low threshold of pain but the neck piercing was really bearable just that you would experience real, real sharp pain. but i think it's fucking worth it. then kelly headed home after dinner so yw and i headed t ps. 3/4 of the conversation she was talking about HIM.

then headed back to the east to pass germaine painkillers.

yeah i'm going tp's carnival tomorrow. hoho goodnight.

2007-05-16T16:19:00.000+08:00

'i think you're probably the only girl who gives a fuck about me.' - XXX
i maybe crazy, i maybe obsessed.
but awww, that was a daft sweet message from you.
i can see you as a challege that i will eagerly meet
cuz you are way way way way sweet.
you are ever true, ever new in love
and i mean that in the best and worst way.

2007-05-16T14:14:00.000+08:00

don't be shocked. this is an airplane, not a grasshopper.
okay breathe in. this is a futuristic 'sofa', all done by ben.

so went out w ben, yw, robin, amos and RJ at ps.
i was fucking happy cuz of 2 things. :D
i don't wanna share! what a fag. hahahha kay bye.

2007-05-16T01:14:00.000+08:00

today is th happiest day of my life!
I GOT INTO LASALLE!! update about today tomorrow. :D

2007-05-15T11:45:00.000+08:00

even though i have had enough of your apathy,
you know i wouldn't want it any other way.

2007-05-13T14:01:00.000+08:00

i'm feeling a lil' upset right now. okay maybe not a little, quite a bit.
stupid boy. you just ruined my sunday.
maybe i do like you quite a lot.

2007-05-12T01:24:00.000+08:00

i'm very sleepy, haven't had enough sleep.
lotsa stuff t be done. fuck.

2007-05-10T11:35:00.000+08:00

i took 2 cigarettes last night and i felt a lil' more than lil' higher.
i haven't felt this for quite a while,
just like how i haven't smelt you in a while.

2007-05-09T00:28:00.000+08:00

i went nafa early in th morning at 9 o'clock for th entrance test.
ah screw th test. i did horribly. then met hazami for lunch at bugis.
i went dover t pick ben up and met kelly, sharr, yw, amos and his friends at this sheesha place near paradiz centre. robin came too.
yesterday was damn crazy cuz of yw. what's up w her and girls' boobs and asses.
hahahha and purely coincidentally, all th angels have th same nail colour!
then madness on th train. sexually aggressive and tamil tiger. beware.

2007-05-05T20:46:00.000+08:00

i love this bitch.

2007-05-02T21:42:00.000+08:00

you're gonna miss my loving.
now you may feel secure,
and you are as you please.
but soon you'll be begging on your knees.

2007-05-02T01:12:00.000+08:00

so we just hung up. he brought 4 boxes of impact along with his guitar. haha silly boy.

2007-05-01T10:34:00.000+08:00

i was supposed t pick ben up but in th end i don't know what has gotten into him.
so i went bugis w zw t get something for his friend,
met jac and some of zx's jc friends too.
then lepak for a while before 2 of his other bandmates came.
then lepak for a while longer before th 4 of us hopped onto th train and went orchard aft they have gotten th gift for isdy.(hopefully it's correctly spelt) we left 'em and went back t th east t meet gerr(my babygirl :D) and fis. hahahha gerr and i had some crazy time; we were piggy-backing each other aft dinner. it was a hell lot of fun.
i blushed yesterday. damn.

2007-04-30T11:36:00.000+08:00

so work was boring. i was practically slacking w reg and crystal half of th time.
then collected a gift at chocz from this guy. fucking lame i swear.
we took a bus back t tampines t meet gerr and zixiang.
however, i didn't get a chance t even lick it let alone eat it.
who had my last 3/4 bite? hmm. then aloy came.
anyway my dumb camera is spoilt again and my left eye is swollen.
but i'm still going out later. :D

2007-04-28T00:08:00.000+08:00

i met mike, shiv, yw, kelly, sharr, ben and keith at parkway tday offguard
while i was working my ass off at _____, looking worse than worst.
actually not really that hardworking.
i was standing there doing nothing much but thinking of ways t steal that ass-smacking pouch beside me for my lovely cigs and yeah i got it here w me now.
theft is encouraged; it saves money.
godddddddddddddddddd. work was a bore.
a lame auntie and a few fucked up mutants crawling around th workplace.
but good thing is, th rest are nice.
YOU ARE WEIRD
AND
YA
KNOW IT YOURSELF.

2007-04-27T00:11:00.000+08:00

i feel a lil' hurt tonight.
you look like a photograph of yourself taken from far, far away
and i won't know what t d,
and i won't know what t say
except fuck you.
th memories of us, us and still us just won't budge.
i see you when i'm so perplexed.
what was i thinking? what will i think of next?
we used t stain my red roof tiles w our bodies where sweet nothings were smoked.
there's a changing constellation of roles as we play,
things that mattered th most t me don't matter anymore.
i see an infected you and say nothing.
th only thing i can think of saying is..
fuck you.

2007-04-25T23:54:00.000+08:00

i just got home, went out w ben and kelly tday.
woooo she got extensions already! :D
we caught 200 hundred pounds beauty. fucking nice.
anyway i'm gonna get my black pants w gerr tomorrow and i'll make sure it looks super tapered and skin-tight. yeahhh i can't wait. :D

2007-04-23T14:10:00.000+08:00

so went out w aloy, gerr, fis and zixiang yesterday.
i was so wowed by zx's guitar skills. shhht. like totally.
he's so far th best guitarist i know of.
wowed. wowwwww.
oh yesterday was th first time i played tarot cards.
bad answer. real badddd.

2007-04-21T18:57:00.000+08:00

you are distracting me from all other activities. shit you.

2007-04-21T13:21:00.000+08:00

collages, collages and more of that please.

2007-04-20T23:32:00.000+08:00

tday was funnn. :D
let me focus more on the travelling in this entry.
i woke up early t pick ben up but failed t reach there on time again.
so ended up waiting for him at city hall for him and his friend.
then went t funan t collect his labtop and cabbed t his place t get his stuff.
hoho then cabbed down t bugis t meet hazel(pretty girl) then all th way t nafa.
aft that took a bus t wheellock t meet mark, keith and nick.
lepak at topshop then wonga came. sth funny happened on th way t lido though lol.
then met michelle there. ahhh enough. i don't like t blog in details i realised.
anyway gerr bought me a necklace and i bought her a ___. :D

2007-04-18T12:48:00.000+08:00

a kiss to send the stress to sunsets and we forget
to find a sound to make us move. - a static lullaby

2007-04-17T10:29:00.000+08:00

i finally had piano lesson yesterday aft weeks.
hahaha we had a chatting session instead. that's so us luh.
aft that went t meet gerr then picked ben up from dover. (:
robin came and that's where the drama started kicking in. then all of us headed t town t meet sharr, kelly, bren, yw and etc for dinner at pepper lunch. lepak all the way until ten plus. i was watching ben getting slapped by kelly and vice versa. fierce sial. hahaha but they were playing like duh. then this guy his saliva like chewing gum sial. we were in awe. then realised bren has a mole on his nose too. same as me! hahhahha anyway i'm dying my hair black w the girls at the studio later. so long red hair.

2007-04-13T14:38:00.000+08:00

i browsed through my phone for your photos.
so i set the photo of you and i as 'full screen'.
my lips couldn't help but t kiss you, on my phone screen.
you are a catalyst t my fucking intricate mechanism.
it is still you. it has always been. not who you are now, but who you were.

2007-04-13T12:17:00.000+08:00

i woke up at 6 plus in the morning t accompany aloy t cdmp some whatever.
then left at arnd 1 from boon lay t meet gerr at city hall.
then left at arnd 3 plus t meet ben and we went parkway lepak. met random ppl there.
then bren and robin came. played pool. lol robin got thrashed like fuck.
then back t raffles city t meet gerr.
anyway i'm single again. :D

2007-04-10T22:03:00.000+08:00

i just broke my fucking toe nail and the whole thing came off.
holy fuck. i'm fucking jewed.

2007-04-09T19:08:00.000+08:00

holy. i just found out my friend did this t her back. ouch.
but it's kinda nice though. :D

2007-04-09T09:54:00.000+08:00

you have me in a tug-of-war
game with half wanting
to talk to you, while the other half
wanting to remain and I don't
know what to do.
but somehow
your name resounds;
so I think of you in silence and never
make a sound; and because of this
i sometimes go to bed late;
sitting up, just to remain;
so i leave this up to fate. - mixed feelings, sabrina swray

2007-04-06T18:53:00.000+08:00

yesterday was fun but not when my mom comes into the picture.
met gerr for lunch and bennn, sharr, mike, yw, wonga, bren, shiv and
etc at marina square ytd.
went dxo but i was just slacking at the stage cuz i lost my frigging ticket.
what a fucking waste of my money. then met aloysius(for the first time), gerr & robin aftwards.
ahhh i dislike what she's doing t me now.
everything is jackass weird now.
hoho anyway i dyed my hair red. :D

i miss you.

2007-04-04T12:37:00.000+08:00

i dreamt of you. it wasn't sweet at all.
it was a nightmare.

p.s: my hair is not red. it's fucking brownnn.

2007-04-02T12:36:00.000+08:00

i just woke up. slept at 5 yesterday.
christian and serene came over t my place. haha we talked a lot.
and oh i reformatted my damn com AGAIN.
ahhh i want my black hair back. i miss it so badly.
i realised hair's a very girl's thing. cuz the girls are pretty upset abt their hair.
i am no exception.

2007-03-31T13:26:00.000+08:00

i'm talking on the phone w him now. :D
studio later at 6. then photoshoot at night.
i look horrible. i swear. i miss my old hairrrr. ):
meeting the girls later. gotta go bye.

2007-03-31T13:05:00.000+08:00

2007-03-31T12:35:00.000+08:00

i met this guy a few weeks back but i ignored him for some reason.
then he called again on the 27 march.
at first i thought he was some cheena bastarddd.
he's a mixed, switz, malay and chinese.
he's from a band, drummer and vocalist.
the song they composed will be played in the US.
he's 1.8m. he listens t the kinda music i listen t.
he's 19 this year. quite a good catch ehh. :D

2007-03-29T01:32:00.000+08:00

my mom drove me t tanah merah and met ben, yw, kelly and sharr at the studio.
i reached there at 3 plus and only i got a taste of lucus wong's skills at 10 plus.
HIS HAIRCUT STARTS FROM $188 GOT SER-CHARGE SOME MORE SIAL FROM 8PM-10PM.
the waiting process got worse cuz i got really hungry.
don't piss me off when i'm hungry. i may bite.
the funniest part was when kelly was bleaching her hair and she got so crazy cuz it hurts her hair scalp pissfuck much.
so we went out for a smoke in our salon robes, squatting.
kelly looks like a fucking sister i swear. then this girl was abt t enter the studio and she squinted at us cuz kelly was being a moron and i was laughing like a crazy bitch; she kept playing w the lighter and smoked in a very, very distressed manner.
i look totally KNNUGLY now. short hair. i'm going back t hair extensions.
especially the sides! DAMNIT CHINA DOLL. knn.
THEN,
the hairstylists fucking quarrelled!! LOL. SCARY.
anywayyy the trip back home was fun cuz of kelly that mad bitch.
hahahhah i'm starting t like her a lot. (:
i'm tired, haven't slept a wink. photos later this week.
goodnight. xoxo.

2007-03-28T02:36:00.000+08:00

this random guy came up t me and said,
him: hey are you local?
me: ya.
him: you have a very cool image. -thumbs up (:
me: hahha um thanks.

anyway many interesting things happened yesterday.
but i don't have time t blog abt it.
ahhh okay i'm gg off for the hair modelling at tanjong pagar now!
so short notice! i wanted t go for my hair extension. ):
i'm seeing all my hotties later!! gotta go now. byeeee. (:

2007-03-27T12:02:00.000+08:00

happy twenty-seventh shawn.

shan messaged me yesterday saying he was gna throw away the purple book and everything else. it kinda hurts cuz we made 'em together over the past 2 years and he was gna throw 'em away for the so-called 'removal of memories' or should i say more or less t please the new girlfriend. the sweet notes, drawings we used t pen 'em down and the times we used t buy peanuts from esso, peel peanuts and feed each other w those sweets lil' nuts while fixing the puzzle through days of hard work. you trying t fix my face, i trying t fix yours. i don't think they deserve t be in the dumpster. maybe the storeroom or stuff 'em in a box hidden in the darkest corner of the house that i don't care but never in the dumpster. there are some things in life that can't be removed cuz it has gradually become a part of us in the quaintest way.
or should i say, shawn is in me.

i was roller-blading last night. i found out i didn't go pass the hump cuz he wasn't there t catch me if i fall. hahaha i'm a pussy. yes i know even though i was wearing his gloves.
i felt kinda sad cuz it kinda tickled those memories that we used t roller-blade around my place, cursing the cars, him holding my hands cuz i was too afraid t move. the part that nearly got me into tears yesterday was the slope. he used t stand at the end of the slope everytime so that when i accelerate, he would be there for me t accelerate into his arms and we would just enjoy each others' embrace. i really missed those days.

so i went all the way t his place t save the purple book. bloody shan dozed off even without waiting for me. i'm so gna slap him. then i waited for shawn t come back.
so in the most charmingly odd way, we spent the 27th together.
we're friends again.
i never found sucking from the same cigarettes sweet but yesterday i did.
i hugged him yesterday knowing his arms don't belong t me anymore.
this won't d it. i can't be a sucker for him anymore.

kay gotta go. tday's a busy day. bye.

2007-03-26T01:40:00.000+08:00

heh i just read sharrr(hottie)'s blog.
she's bloody hell hot. i should get rid of mike.
yes i'm a sucker for hot girls. :D

2007-03-25T02:17:00.000+08:00

it was like a fucking drug deal.
i was sitting here waiting,
i was calling you back,
but you didn't call me back.
it was fucked up, but at the same time it just made me wanted you even worse.
for awhile I was cleaner than now.
then I started to destroy myself.
with things that I love now the things that I hate,
until it finally broke me.
the stabbed lover and the furious bunny.
cheater. you made me hate you. you just made it easier for me.
you owe me. fucking owe me a thousand fucks.

2007-03-24T14:04:00.000+08:00

yesterday was a happening day.
went out w shan aft school t gelare. then we caught a movie at marina sq, mr bean's holiday! :D
it was big. so we got lost quite a few times.
i ate cheese yesterday. goddd. but it was yummy.
then sent him t city hall and met my friends at cathay.
jeff, rei, ben, kelly, yw, sharr(hottie), mike, shift, wonga!! and etc were there luh.
then other random things that shouldn't be blogged.
i think i'm picking up modelling again.
okay byebye.

2007-03-22T21:59:00.000+08:00

to YANKENG:
hey babe.. i know it's going to be tough, but i know u this strong girl will pull through. the feeling sucks. but i'm there for u, yea? stay strong darling! he's NOT worth it. he sucks. maybe.. u'll prefer mark? hahahahaha.. we'll meet up asap when my block test is over ok! muacks.

found this out hanie's blog. hahaha thnks babe. mark has someone he loves already luh and i know who she is. (:
thnk you my dear friends too:
gerrlove, mark, christian, big mark, jess, serene, yinwen, ben, kelly, robin.. t name a few.
love ya guys. thnks for being there for me when i was at my lowest.
yeahhh meeting shannon tmr aftnoon! i haven't seen him in ages!! :D
i miss him! that's why i'm gna pick him up from school. (:
then meeting the rest at night. i hope wonga is coming!

t shawn,
what goes around comes around.
good luck.

2007-03-22T21:09:00.000+08:00

I'M BACK!! (: NO MORE EMO DAYS!

2007-03-16T18:55:00.000+08:00

i miss you.

2007-03-16T18:38:00.001+08:00

aft the phone call w him ytd, i was fucking depressed.
so went out w kelly, yinwen, ben, mike, gerr, cheryl, jeff, cherlie, teisha and many,
many more t seesha.
then met mark and christian for a while. depressing.
flames t dust.
lovers t friends.
why d all good things come t an end?

2007-03-15T02:17:00.000+08:00

my gastric is killingggggg me.

2007-03-14T13:20:00.000+08:00

went out. went out. went out. went out and went out again.
pills and rkk every day since that very night.
but you look so well. that hurts me like a slew of a thousand unwanted fucks.

2007-03-10T19:07:00.000+08:00

i got home at 5 in the morning.
my mom and sis are disappointed w me. yes i'm sorry so just cut it out;
i've got enough shit up my sleeves.
what could be worse.
my sis found out me merokoking so i was kinda screwed.
i'll sneak out t meet her tonight. sorry t the rest; i lost t my conscience.
i love you guys. (:

2007-03-08T20:13:00.000+08:00

a torrent of tears flooded on 8 march 2007. that very night, i lost it.

Dead Foetus

2007-03-08T05:13:00.000+08:00

My life officially stops here.

2007-03-07T13:50:00.000+08:00

i'm sorry baby; my selfishness and insecurities got outta hand.
you told me you were sick of our everyday arguments.
the different expectations we have in this relationship, i don't know how t deal w 'em anymore. this entry isn't posted t act as a rhetoric device t speak of my emotions but that i need you too cuz i love you.

2007-03-06T00:26:00.000+08:00

mika nakashima is fucking hot.

i wanna fuck her so hard. she's mine. :D
OH GUESS WHAT.
SHE HAS THE SAME BIRTHDATE AS ME!

2007-02-28T16:16:00.000+08:00

i came across the person's blog. coincidentally.
she's the girl i've always wanted t meet all along.
sweets may fill up the gaps but not for long.

2007-02-28T00:12:00.000+08:00

i had a haircut at esprit salon today and i look awfully bad now.
so we practically slacked the whole day at vivo.
i can't eat solid food so i could just sit, rot and watch him eat superdog's fries while i eat my ben and jerry's cookie bough. ):
anyway baby made me yummy congee for lunch! I LOVE YOU. :D
he's sucha sweetie macadamia nut but he's a fucking bitch even though he has a prick. (:
you know we were on the train and we saw this not-so-cute baby luh yes i know.
then he went, "EEE. that baby over there is UGLY."
you know i've always been nice and all so i don't who he learns it from.
anyway gerr told me what happened. he's a whoreson. he's gna be dead one day.
okay guess what.
shawn tan met sean tan today. DOOMED. DIRE. DEAD.

2007-02-28T00:01:00.000+08:00

gerr: OMGGG YK! WHY'D YOU GO FOR A HAIRCUT AGAIN??
yk: oh cuz i'm depressed w the way i looked. ):

2007-02-27T13:04:00.001+08:00

i didn't really sleep at all. i woke up in the noon, had a really hard time swallowing porridge. normally it only takes me 10 mins t finish my meal but i took 50 mins today. i bit my tongue a bit and it ached like fuck. i had t suck on some ice-cream t reduce the swell.
I HAVE THIS FRIDGE W 3 COMPARTMENTS BUT GUESS WHAT.
I DON'T HAVE ANY ICE CUBES OR ICED DRINKS IN MY FRIDGE AT ALL.
phew luckily found this ice-cream cake dootietanie bought for me on my birthday.
YUMMMMmm. :D
anyway good luck t all my friends who are having their exams now! xoxo
HAPPY 23RD MONTH TOO BABYLOVE! (:

2007-02-26T00:35:00.000+08:00

ben's an idiot w the 'hello' tattoo on his lips.
shawn's the handsome guy w a green ripper on his arm. :D

2007-02-24T15:21:00.000+08:00

i love you forever more.

2007-02-21T02:14:00.000+08:00

i had 4 birthday cakes! (: thanks darlings! esp hanhan, audreyyy, gerr and my beloved shawn! a BIG thanks t those people who wished me happy birthday too. lazy t mention names so yeah hahaha. so sorry! ytd was funshit. i purposely asked this niggar cashier t check my ic when buying cigs for ben. then we cabbed down t dxo and some random people. in the end, we couldn't get in cuz baby got bounced out. haha i'm cool w it just that he didnt wna wear my pants. he made someone wear boxers on the street. how cool is that. hahaha i got our couple rings today though. finally aft almost 2 years. anyway shawn's a scary. he dug 1 of shan's ragdoll's eyeball out. that ragdoll was meant t be my birthday present. this is how scary he is. poor thing. poor shan.
i've got photossss. omggg. finally. stay tuned.

2007-02-17T14:24:00.000+08:00

i love you.

2007-02-16T12:39:00.000+08:00

you're the kinda girl i would love t have,
just a lil' thug with a lot of class.

2007-02-15T14:46:00.000+08:00

i watch and wonder: why d you not move?

2007-02-15T14:27:00.001+08:00

i'm so bored. i think i've got shit waiting for me t pass motion. contract. cut. expand. out.
yeah double birthday celebrations tomorrow w my girlfriends! :D
anyway went tp the other day. met fucking many people, chilled out w fis, gerr, lyn, iman(i think my mother's emo), justin, mason.. etc. saw grosshoppers like leongeng and emily. GODDDD. awww i hate 'em but love the way they dress cuz it makes me gag so hard. so babyshawn-O and i went nydc yesterday. MUSHROOMS ATTACK! OMGGG YUMMY. if anyone sees a cute lil' boy w a purple rose stuck onto his hair that has gotta be my sweetheart.
anywayyy i gave him a personal jigsaw and i wanted t take photos but the memory card's not w me and i sold my handphone away. major piss-off. hohoho i just farted omggg so smelly. :D

shucksss. i haven't practice my piece and i've lesson later. :X

2007-02-09T15:16:00.000+08:00

2007-02-09T13:16:00.001+08:00

i'm so glad no one is home. just the 2 of us, my grandma and i.
i'm eating big breakfast now and stressed out these past few days over nothing.
school, parents, work, fuck 'em all.
or should i say getting bombarded w things of lil' significance. fuck myself.
why am i sucha dumbfuck. i think i'm worse than a hog.
i just wna dissect my damned fried brain like how i cut these scrambled eggs now.
but no vivisecting please and thanks.

2007-02-07T16:12:00.000+08:00

2007-01-30T14:50:00.002+08:00

D I E Y O U N G.
i wna die looking pretty. not old, though.

2007-01-28T18:15:00.000+08:00

say goodbye, as we dance with the devil tonight.
don't you dare look at him in the eye, as we dance with
the devil tonight.

hold on, hold on.

2007-01-27T14:11:00.000+08:00

twenty-six january two-o-o-seven is a special day.

2007-01-22T14:59:00.000+08:00

2007-01-22T12:33:00.000+08:00

2007-01-21T12:56:00.000+08:00

please don't ever go t this tailor called roy for alteration or tailoring at queenway shopping centre #02-??. his lousy judgement and tailoring skills make me trigger so much. he didn't alter my skirt when i told him t 2 fucking months ago and made me look like some fat bitch walking on the runway w a much bigger waist cuz i had t fold it up. his tip needs some sharp nails major wedge. anyway his blue-greyish eyes and dropping pants pull him closer t the term called gay. congratulations.

2007-01-21T02:05:00.003+08:00

hoho baby just left & i'm starting t miss him.
tday was alright. pretty fun but a lil disappointed too.
don't ask me why. SHAWN KNOWS.
this week was really fun cuz met new and people i met a year ago.
went plaza sing w gerr in the noon for the stomp uniform runway. met new people.
like kimxiong, marvin, p____, morgon, greg, etc. i think i screwed up the catwalk. :X
anywayyy shawn got his tattoo done at jean paul's place. he's really cool. oh mason and rachel were there too. yesterday was so much fun. i had a great time at his place cuz cheryl pang was there. MAXIMILIAN. :D then madness w sheldon, shannon, baby and cheryl. tug-of-blanket-war. :D
i'll upload the photos soon. stay tuned.

2007-01-17T16:14:00.000+08:00

i've been sitting at the computer since forever watching the oc. :D
but it's so saddening. ): i want fishsticks.

2007-01-14T22:11:00.000+08:00

i love you too hanie! :D

2007-01-14T21:20:00.000+08:00

i learnt something new today. :D
i love you gerr. i love you hanie.
anyway roy you lump of blue-eyed dogshit fag. know what? you suck big fuck time.
so, be on your way and get some class.

2007-01-13T02:31:00.000+08:00

we scream our insecurities
we mutter our apologies
that's why the world will always go wrong.

2007-01-13T01:55:00.002+08:00

hoho just finished talking t gerr on the phone.
i went town w mich today. we dined at nydc. omgg caught school of scoundrels at ps!
hahaha i love jon heder. like totally.
there was a group of noisy international students on bus 190. goddd pissing people off big fuck time. they, trying so hard t broadcast their accent just makes me sick and qualms. aww give me a break pleaseeee. oh i met ernest too. he was jackass funny. piece of whoreshit. :D okay that's all.

2007-01-10T12:43:00.000+08:00

if love was a plane, then i've flown it t the highest point, only t let it come crashing down t the Earth.
fasten your seatbelts, we're going down, we're going down now.

2007-01-09T00:13:00.000+08:00

the stars are going out
and the stripes are getting bent.

2007-01-07T15:55:00.000+08:00

i don't know what t blog but i just feel like listening t the way a keyboard sounds when pressed. this may sound cliched but my. handphone. is. spoilt. like. again.
goddd not gna meet those losers again.
this is so random. omggg the word random is so cliched too. suckerrr.
hoho caught two gorefuck movies w baby: art of the devil 2 and saw 3.
omggg i love watching sick flicks w babytanie cuz he looks so cute.
totally is the word alright.
cringed. squirmed. screamed. cringed. love it.
go check my videos section out. forward t these timings: 55:06 & 1:26 not 01:26.
i read yesterday's papers today. another brazilian model died from anorexia. lol.
anywayyy i'm home alone again. :D

2007-01-04T14:08:00.001+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GERRBABYY! :D
hoho let me update my life.
so hanie came t my place on tues lol t teach her how t style her hair?
we were supposed t go out but ended up snacking at my place and talking abt bgr.
hahaha then she was like an idiot. so caught up and hyper abt my intercom and my gate like i don't know why? hahaha she's still super cute alrighttt. if you're reading this darling, thanks for the great advices you gave! i love you! :D
then met gerr in the evening for dinner. but something urgent cropped up so we went t look for lynna. so we travelled all the way from tampines t bedok then t vivo but stopped at city hall instead cuz there was a change of plan? her boyfriend was being sucha bastarddd alright. anyway she's a nice girl. then omg baby came t my rescue! i didn't know it was that serious that his friends came down also cuz of something scary. goddd.
yesterdayyy:
went out w babytanie! :D we're alright now. anyway we travelled all the way t wheellock t fix my frigging nano. it was mel-ed up alright. and guess what. my phone's screwed up once again. how great. i'm so gna ditch this mel-ed up phone. have a piece of mel and you'd know what i mean. i love you dootiebaby. oh i saw emily equals what a 2-faced bugger.

my mense cramp's killing me. helpppppppp.

2006-12-31T12:51:00.000+08:00

could i really say all these?
could i take some time off from you til' i find i'm no longer disgusted by myself?
could i call you my own?

a part of me wants t quit. a part of me begs t differ.
i'm afraid of verbal daggers, so scared, in fact, a slice of me is dying t get awakened.
i'm the most pathetic girl i've known. it's a shame. it really is.
i've sunk so low. i'm so messed up. i need a slap.

could you have more patience w me?
could you be gentler like before?
could you sweeter like before?

can't you see i'm trying t explain. wait a minute. hail baby.
don't just brush me away. i feel you're slipping away. i can't feel you anymore.
come back.
i'd be lying if I said I was completely unscathed.
listen t me baby 'cuz i can't afford t be misread one more time.
no please don't say breaking up is the only ultimatum you could give me.
no i'm not giving you questions you can't answer.
no i'm not trying t stress you out. i never wanted that.
but i could only deliver this much. i've tried my best. i'm giving more than i'm given.
and now i'm all battered, fucked, pathetic and i need t breakfree.
look baby, the damage is done, the certainties gone now.
the spirits have altered. gone w the wind. for ever.

2006-12-31T12:25:00.000+08:00

everything smells of you, even the gasoline that covers you.

2006-12-30T12:23:00.002+08:00

yesterday was the peak of this week.
first i met jessica fooooooliyun that prick who made me laugh til i thought i had 6 pack abs. i love you prick. :D then gerr was late for 2 hours cuz she was w fis. then jess and i slacked arnd and met sean tan. then couldn't take sitting anymore so we went pasta mania and played w the menus and my hair. stupid jess made me laugh til' i need t burst again. damn stupid. then gerr came like finally. hoho so aft dinner we continued slacking arnd til' prick gotta go. we were supposed t drink but i couldn't buy it at pasir ris. HOW GREAT I TELL YA'. so we met christian and colin cuz shawn and i argued and i needed someone t talk t but turned out some random guys were there so yeah. it seems like gerr and chris get along pretty fine. thanks christian. then shawn cabbed down and i felt damn scared and awkward cuz we kinda broke up. the rest are like history cuz we're willing t work things out cuz i love him and he loves me and full-stop. :D
there's nothing love can't conquer right baby?
but right now can someone save my ipod??

2006-12-26T14:14:00.000+08:00

hihi i just came back from thailand. hoho was wearing specs and w my 'pom' hair.
i need a haircut seriously. i'm home alone right now. - big smile :D
everyone's out except me cuz' i gonna visit my grandma in the hospital later and it's raining. that sucks. i bought trashload of things! OMG my torn jeans. super nice i tell ya. i'm a bit sick. i'll upload the pictures once i get hold of 'em.
i'm gonna dress up tomorrow aft 4 pathetic days of pom hair and specs.
i wanna cook scrambled eggs! - faints
merry x'mas everyone!

2006-12-18T16:27:00.000+08:00

there's an apprehensive naked little trembling boy
w his head in his hands.
there's an underestimated and impatient little girl
raising her hand.
i'm sad. so damn bad. someone kill me now please.

2006-12-17T15:45:00.001+08:00

i saw the message you typed her and i had the urge t purge. too damn bad. sorry baby if you find this post unfair & offensive since i resorted t crude yankeng colloquialism. but i think the best thing t have my thoughts be unleashed is blogging.
'aw man, sorry for the late reply. i was having the usual tiff w my gf. bummer i wasn't there t console you. .......... ahahhha don't be afraid Amber! cuz i am here! ........... haha hugs and goodnight!'
time: 04:00AM.
how smart. what'd you send me before you send her that msg?
'hey baby, tonight i deeply regret what i felt, what my mood was, what i said, what i did not say. i love you darling. i hope you'd forgive me for every night that had turned out like that. darling burned within the deepest innermost heart of mine beats steadily for you and only you, i can't live without you, i'd be like a mad dog if ever i were t lose you. goodnight love. i love you mwah!'
time: 03:57AM
were you even sad in the latter message? that's funny if you were. oh fancy telling me i was bummed cuz i was talking t 7 guys(only 4 cuz i ignored e other 3),i said 'i miss you' t my bestie and this 'i miss you' thing was months ago. i've told you many times not t bring up the past when we argue. i was wrong. i'm sorry. but am i doing any shit t you right now? if you couldn't forgive what i did last time, then don't even say 'never mind', left me thinking everything was settled. don't tell me you're doing this cuz i did it last time. cuz if you did forgive me, you wouldn't have done this. cuz you forgave me and retaliating this time doesn't make any fucking radical sense. what does 'never mind' mean t you? the thought of that message just makes me so sick. so sick that i wanna gag so terribly all over you.
you know what baby. yes i still love you & yes i still trust you.
i'll make you what i never was. you'll make up for what i blew.

2006-12-16T14:31:00.000+08:00

i only slept for barely 5 hours. slept at 6 plus? why so energetic?
i am nocturnal personified.
yesterdayyy.. caught deja vu w mel and shiqi. it was nice.
e black girl was like so HOT. then we slacked around and talked til' midnight. met.. april(super pretty), stephen, josh, annabel and sapphire. kay gotta go, so long.